Menopause by Lucie Oliver
Hello and welcome to my page, which is dedicated to providing information and resources relating to the peri-menopause and menopause. My motivation to create this is underpinned by my own experience of coming to the menopause feeling uninformed and so having to learn about it ‘as I go’. My intention is to populate this page with articles, testimonials and resources, that I will endeavour to update on a monthly basis. I welcome your stories, treatment experiences and reading suggestions, so if you would like to contribute, then please contact me via lucieeoliver@gmail.com
If you had asked me ten years ago what I thought the menopause involved, I would have replied something like, ‘Well, my periods will stop and I’ll probably have some hot flushes’. In the last two years, I have come to learn that there can be so much more to it than that. As my friends and peers speak to me of their journeys and I research the topic further, I feel moved to share what I have learned in the hope that more women come to the peri-menopause and beyond with greater understanding and fewer surprises than I did. I have found myself upset and frustrated that the necessary information and support wasn’t brought to my attention earlier in my life. If I had known then what I do now, I would have likely recognised early signs of the peri-menopause and been able to start reading, researching and talking to health practitioners about how to navigate what can be a profound change in our lives.
We will all experience menopause differently
I write all of this with awareness that there exists a broad spectrum in terms of what women experience around menopause and how they approach it. Some encounter very little in the way of symptoms, yet others find the hormonal shift debilitating, with significant impact on their personal and professional life. For another group, the transformation is a positive experience, one which allows them to redefine themselves, perhaps making long-awaited changes that will serve them as they embrace later life. This is under-represented in the mainstream narrative presently, as many women are approaching the menopause with fear, having only heard negative news. The most positive response I have heard to date is that the menopause ‘forces us to grow’. Many of us have to change and while this can feel unwelcome, re-evaluating our lives puts us front and centre, and it’s possible we haven’t been for some time.
Research
There is growing research and interest around why the transition is felt so differently, indeed uniquely, amongst women. Important questions are being asked about how those from different cultures and ethnicities live through menopause and also how our social and family background contribute to the journey. There is, however, very little research about how transgender men and non-binary people experience menopause and how/where they might be best supported. I identify as a cis female, as do my peer group and the majority of reading resources are geared towards the female experience. I will endeavour to share articles that are more inclusive as they surface and would welcome personal stories from the LGBTQIA+ community. If you would like to share your menopause journey, then please do get in touch.
There is without doubt an upsurge in terms of menopause awareness in the UK presently. Resources and training are on the rise, but we are still a long way from getting the full support we need and for there to be a better understanding of menopause in wider society. Menopause is felt and experienced by partners, in the family system and the workplace, so opening up the conversation and strengthening our understanding has to be useful for families, colleagues and peers alike.
A multitude of challenges
Symptoms aside, the context of the menopause can be particularly challenging too, coming at a time when we might be parenting hormonal, teenage children and simultaneously taking a lead role in the care of ageing parents. Holding all of this together and perhaps working full-time isn’t unusual in our 40’s and 50’s, so no wonder some find themselves overwhelmed. However, I have come to learn that feeling overwhelmed can be a symptom of the menopause in itself, making it tricky to untangle what is circumstantial and what is the result of a hormonal shift. For me personally, this is where the work exists. I find having the time and space to explore the obvious and subtle changes that are occurring invaluable to me. I have a sense of recalibrating myself on many levels, so processing this in therapy, with friends, my GP or acupuncturist helps me to keep evaluating what I need at this stage in my life. I am better able to communicate my needs to loved ones and in sharing my experience, have formed closer relationships. I have learned the value of rest, the need to change my eating habits and - a tricky one for me - that I need to do less. I am still learning that another shift or symptom can arise at any given moment!
The information below has been compiled from NHS resources, The British Menopause Society, a wide range of reading material and contributions from women I have interviewed.
What is the peri-menopause?
Also known as the menopausal transition, the peri-menopause is when oestrogen levels fluctuate and then begin to decline. This phase lasts on average for 6 years and can begin any time in the 30’s - 50’s age range. Understanding the symptoms of peri-menopause is particularly important for those experiencing changes when younger, as sadly, some in the medical profession will consider a person ‘too young’ when they report such symptoms before 40. Knowing your body and being able to confidently explain the changes will enable you to communicate your needs more effectively.
Not everyone will experience the peri-menopause. Many have what is known as a ‘medically induced’ menopause, whereby a hysterectomy, removal of the ovaries or some cancer treatments result in a bypass of the peri stage altogether.
Symptoms of the peri-menopause: (not an exhaustive list)
Mental: brain fog/memory problems
Physical: weight gain/loss, fatigue, sleep problems, hot flushes, palpitations, joint pain/aches and pains, plantar fasciitis, UTI’s, dry vagina, skin changes, acne, itching or discomfort during sex, night sweats
Emotional: mood changes, irritability, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, apathy, feeling overwhelmed, reduced libido
What is the menopause?
Technically, the menopause is just one day. It is the day that marks 12 months since your last period and from that moment, you are then considered to be post-menopausal.
In the post-menopausal phase, women may continue to experience some of the symptoms listed above. It is also a time where there can be an increased risk of osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease and UTI’s (urinary tract infections).
Whether we pursue HRT, acupuncture, nutritional therapy or herbs (to name a few options), each one of us will navigate our journey of transition differently, finding the support and lifestyle changes that work for us. If you think that talking therapy would be a useful addition to your ‘menopause tool kit’ or the ageing process generally, then you can contact me directly via lucieeoliver@gmail.com or 07811 639831. My profile at New Road Psychotherapy can be found here https://www.newroadpsychotherapy.com/lucie-oliver
Please be aware that while I am a fully qualified and BACP registered Counsellor, I have no medical qualification and what I share here relating to treatment or management of symptoms, comes from external sources. I make no recommendations other than to discuss your options with a GP or qualified health practitioner to support your treatment options.
Reading suggestions:
Preparing for the peri-menopause and menopause by Dr Louise Newson
The Natural Menopause Method by Karen Newby
Everything you need to know about the Menopause by Kate Muir
The Second Spring by Kate Codrington
Menopausing by Davina McCall with Dr Naomi Potter
The Wisdom of Menopause by Christiane Northrup
Cracking the menopause by Mariella Frostrup & Alice Smellie
New Menopausal Years: The Wise Woman Way by Susun S Weed
Podcasts:
Dr Louise Newson on apple/spotify - various
‘Balance’ phone app - can be helpful for logging symptoms, which can then generate a report for your GP
https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/balance-menopause-support/id1503345959