Therapists Blog

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Rory Singer Rory Singer

Symbolic Violence in Polite Rooms

There is a form of shame that does not originate in childhood; it arrives later, often within institutions: A training room. A university seminar. A clinical meeting. A spiritual community.

Nothing explicit happens. No one excludes you. No rule is broken. And yet the body registers something. A tightening in the chest. A faint self-consciousness. Your voice sounds slightly different to your own ears. You become aware of yourself as if from the outside.

I have felt this in rooms where I ostensibly belonged as a trainee and later as a leader. The codes change depending on where you stand, but the body still knows when it is navigating the hierarchy.

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